Sunday, September 15, 2013

Update on Ayo Kimathi

A man fitting the description of Ayo Kimathi has been seen in the company of a Kentucky moonshiner.  Local law enforcement officials who have seen them together say that the local boy is well known to them and that he lives in an underground bunker.

When asked for comment, Jeremiah Wright said that Ayo was making a deal with the devil, and he said that he hoped Ayo would stay away from the moonshine long enough to accomplish his holy mission of ridding the world of devils like the man he was with.  However, Jeremiah also said that Ayo's open hostility for a majority of the people in this country, coupled with his well-known plans to murder as many of his enemies as he could, likely meant that there was now a bounty on his head, making it necessary for him to hide out until he could assemble the armed militia that was necessary to finish the massacre that he has been planning for years.

The two men have been listening to some music that is a blend of country and rap.  The local people call it "crap".

Some of the people in Ayo's neighborhood are amused at the sight of the two people walking and talking together because it's very plain to them that neither of them has been sleeping much.

They speculate that Ayo and the local boy are both afraid to sleep because the first one who does so is likely to be killed and eaten.

If you happen to see a pile of charred human bones with barbeque sauce on them, please notify the local police.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Welcome back from your latest vacation, Barry

These bumper stickers, pins, and other products are all available for purchase somewhere on the internet.

Why is the United States so united in hating him?

These two charts are helpful in answering this question.  They are copied from an article published June 27, 2012 by the American Enterprise Institute.

Compared to President Ronald Reagan, President Obama's economic policies are a complete failure.

When is your next vacation, Barry, and why can't you admit that your economic policies are a failure?

Now that he's been out of office for more than five years, you can't blame George Bush anymore.

Oh by the way, Barry, President Ronald Reagan cleaned up Jimmy Carter's economic mess in less than TWO years.

Remember the double-digit unemployment rates, the double-digit mortgage interest rates, and the double-digit inflation rates of the late 1970s?  Of course you don't, you idiot, because President Ronald Reagan's economic policies, with the full support of the American business community and the American public, fixed all those problems.

In less than two years.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Which Barry is believable?

The following two videos, recorded one year apart, both show how one man, who is unfortunately but temporarily the President of the United States (thank the founding fathers for his term limit) discussing a "red line" with respect to the use of chemical weapons in Syria.

The first video was sent to YouTube by the Telegraph, a newspaper published in the United Kingdom.  The second video was sent by the Cable News Network (CNN).

Uploaded August 21, 2012
Uploaded September 4, 2013
One minute, 37 seconds
One minute, 23 seconds

Partial text of video #1

Starting at 30 seconds:
We have been very clear., to the Assad regime, but also to other players on the ground, that a red line for us is if we start seeing a whole bunch of chemical weapons moving around or being utilized.  That would change my calculus.  That would change my equation.

The full text of video #2

First of all, I didn't set a red line. The world set a red line.

[You're a liar, Barry, because you did set a red line.  You're a liar.]

The world set a red line when governments representing 98% of the world's population said that, uh, that the use of chemical weapons are abhorrent and passed a treaty forbidding their use even when countries are engaged in war.

Congress set a red line when it ratified that treaty.

Congress set a red line when it, uh, indicated that, uh, in a, uh, piece of, uh, legislation titled "The Syrian Accountability Act", that, uh, some of the horrendous things that are happening on the ground there need to be answered for.

Uh, and so, when I said, in a press conference, that my calculus about what's happening in Syria would be altered by the use of chemical weapons, which the overwhelming, uh, consensus of humanity said is wrong.

Um, That wasn't something I kinda made up.  I didn't pluck it out of thin air.

There's a reason for it.

Uh, Barry, you did say that you had drawn a red line.  You were recorded in the first video saying that "we", meaning the United States, with you as our unfortunate but temporary President, were the party that drew the red line.

I didn't make it up.  I didn't pluck it out of thin air.  The video is my proof that you made that statement.

I have been searching for a video of the leader of another country making a similar statement about red lines and chemical weapons, but I can't seem to find it.

Oh, and I have also been searching for a video recording of a member of either house of Congress making a statement about a red line and chemical weapons.  Can you help me find this video?

I would be very grateful.