Sunday, September 15, 2013

Update on Ayo Kimathi


A man fitting the description of Ayo Kimathi has been seen in the company of a Kentucky moonshiner.  Local law enforcement officials who have seen them together say that the local boy is well known to them and that he lives in an underground bunker.

When asked for comment, Jeremiah Wright said that Ayo was making a deal with the devil, and he said that he hoped Ayo would stay away from the moonshine long enough to accomplish his holy mission of ridding the world of devils like the man he was with.  However, Jeremiah also said that Ayo's open hostility for a majority of the people in this country, coupled with his well-known plans to murder as many of his enemies as he could, likely meant that there was now a bounty on his head, making it necessary for him to hide out until he could assemble the armed militia that was necessary to finish the massacre that he has been planning for years.

The two men have been listening to some music that is a blend of country and rap.  The local people call it "crap".

Some of the people in Ayo's neighborhood are amused at the sight of the two people walking and talking together because it's very plain to them that neither of them has been sleeping much.

They speculate that Ayo and the local boy are both afraid to sleep because the first one who does so is likely to be killed and eaten.

If you happen to see a pile of charred human bones with barbeque sauce on them, please notify the local police.